She picked me up from my house at about 4:50 and we went to one of our favorite restaurants.
I didn't say anything the way there but I handed her little slips of paper with things that I wanted to say on them. I felt as if my mouth got me into too much trouble (usually) so I just decided to keep quiet.
We ate quiet and we breathed quiet.
We didn't need to say anything anyways.
I don't think we ever did.
I feel like we always knew what the other was thinking as long as we've been together.
We are connected in some strange way that I don't think two people who love each other usually are.
For example, today she told me that she kept losing hearing in her right ear. I myself have been having trouble hearing too - from my left ear. Or that her left hand had a strange, random pain - and the same happened to my right.
I ate lasagna and she ate hummus and chips and some other stuff. Or rather we shared both.
After dinner we went to the bookstore and looked at books and I read Where The Wild Things Are to her in the kids section and we looked at books with pictures of baby animals in them. The whole time we still held hands and we still kissed and told each other that we loved each other.
After that it was time for us both to go home.
Still, nothing is certain. Neither of us know if we'll get back tomorrow or in a month, or even at all. But I just want her to be ready, if we do get back together. Right now it looks very possible but if not I will understand. But I'm hoping that we can. Maybe even as a birthday present for my upcoming eighteenth birthday. But any day will do really. I will wish for it at 11:11 every day or every time I see a shooting star. And stay positive and continue to love her regardless. I feel almost as if this whole incident has made me fall for her even more. I can't explain it. It's something that can't be explained.
When she dropped me off at my house I kissed her for a long time and she kissed me back. I asked her when I'd see her next and she said we'll see. I said I loved her. And she said she loved me too. And then she said happy six months together.
And I said happy six months together, too.
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"Don't wait for the good woman. She doesn't exist. There are women who can make you feel more with their bodies and their souls but these are the exact women who will turn the knife into you right in front of the crowd. Of course, I expect this, but the knife still cuts. The female loves to play man against man, and if she is in a position to do it there is not one who will not resist. Never envy a man his lady. Behind it all lays a living hell." - Charles Bukowski
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