Tonight, I will sleep only because I am hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. That maybe I'll wake up and you'll be there to tell me everything is okay. Maybe right now I am just dreaming. Maybe this is a really bad dream, and you'll shake me awake. I will wake up with tears in my eyes and I will be cold, and you will hold me close to you and say "Shhh...it's okay." And you will let me kiss you and hold your hand, and play with your fingers. And you will promise me that it will always be like that.
"Baby. It's okay. I love you."
After 6 months of spending every day with you I have already felt closer to you than I have with anyone in my whole life. I guess you are right and everyone else is right. I am only seventeen years old. What do I know? I know that I still love you and I still want to be with you. And I am writing this and making it public because I want everyone else to know too. I want everyone to know how much I love you. I want everyone to know about the girl who I love very much and always will love very much. I wish I had been able to make you as happy as you deserve. Even now knowing that you are reading this is making me happy. I don't care what has happened. You will still make me happier than anything or anyone in the whole world.
I will always think about you and I. About all the things that have happened between us. Like my dad's birthday trip. Falling asleep on your stomach. Picnics at nighttime. Watching the stars in the park. Or just sitting around looking at each other as if there was nothing else in the world. All those times replay themselves in my head and I can't help but smile but I can't help but shed a few tears.
I am not writing this to make a scene, or even to win you back really. But more so as a tribute, or a dedication, to what we had and what I hope we can still have - love.
I will always love you, Ashley Bettinger. Don't ever forget that.
3 comments:
This made me cry
you're not the only one.
I thought I was the only one!
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